lokakuu85 ([info]lokakuu85) wrote in [info]urmelino,
Bone, jen mia korektoj...

Lineo 2 - ...no frighten... eble "no fright" aŭ "no terror, horror, or dread"
Lineo 3 - ...flackering... flickering
Lineo 18 - you are send back to life eble "you are sent back to life?
Lineo 21 - ...no frighten... same kiel lineo 2
Lineo 22 - ...for next morning... eble "for the next morning" aŭ "for tomorrow morning"

Mi pensas, ke via angla poemo sonos pli bone kun chi-tiuj korektoj.

Ĝis revido!


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